Wednesday, September 23, 2015


Greetings Bikeist afficionados!  As threatened, I am am hereby re-emerging post autumnal equinox.  So, where have I been all summer?  Well, besides biking my butt off, I have been doing what I'm told us creative types are supposed to do each summer -- nothing.  As a full-fledged member of the writing community, I have exercised my right to take several months off from entertaining my hordes of loyal followers.  This, supposedly, serves two purposes:

 (1) It makes you, my faithful denizens, even hungrier to consume the bike-centric nourishment I provide you with on a weekly basis; and 

(2) It recharges my creative energies and juices, enabling me to spew forth bike wisdom as never before imagined or witnessed on the interwebs --

Truthfully, though, what this has really been about is Mr. Google's failure to recognize the fabulosity of this blog by raining down dollars on yours truly.  Seriously, people!  I've given you the never-ending bikeography, bike-stabbings galore, and the single greatest thing that has ever happened right here on this very blog!  What more is it gonna take?  Do I need to just start making stuff up?  This blog doesn't just write itself (most of the time) -- we need to start working some notion of remuneration into this equation.  

I guess I could start issuing this blog on a subscription basis in hopes, a la the New York Times, that I could monetize exclusivity.  Somehow, though, I'm not confident that I can turn much of a profit that way, even if all twelve of my loyal readers were to subscribe.  There must be a better way.  I've read about guest-blogging, back-linking, etc., as ways to perpetuate a blog, but it all sounds like so much work -- and I get enough of that at, umm, well, work.  I enjoy writing/blogging because it doesn't feel like work.  As a bonafide creative type with no notion of how to turn thoughts into dollars, I need a cold-blooded, single-minded, money-hungry agent/manager to handle the business side of this venture, so I can keep my focus upon continuing to pump out brilliant product.  

So, are you a one-dimensional, avaricious, uncreative, tech-savvy sloth interested in parlaying the output of a creative genius into untold profits?  If so, do I ever have a position for you! Apply simply by commenting to this very post.  If not, you surely must know an asshole who is qualified to take on this lofty position.  Forward a link to my blog to anybody you think may have the lack of scruples required to turn a brilliant, anonymous, blogger who has been toiling in obscurity into a money-making machine.  I am ready to be sold like laundry detergent, feminine hygiene, or erectile dysfunction products.  Like espresso drinks pre-1990, I have something completely addictive that people develop an insatiable craving for after a single serving. The Bikeist is the crack cocaine of biking blogs -- just get it out on the street and stand back as it tears apart the fabric of the "cycling" community.  That has to be worth something, right?

Anyway, untold riches or not, I'm back.  I have all kinds of bike adventures and gripes to share with you after an incredible summer in the saddle.  Let's just see what happens if we can manage to inject the profit motive into my creative process in some way. I just don't think I have it in me to be one of those artists whose prolific output is discovered post-humously and converted into millions. I want instant gratification, adulation, and remuneration!  Is that asking too much?  I think not . . . 

1 comment:

  1. I hear the VW boss is available.