Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Man With Chainsaw Terrorizes Bikeists!

What is it with L.A. anyway?  First they go and steal our hometown First Baseman:

Then, when your beloved San Diego Bikeist breaks a shocking, trending story on a slew of bike stabbings, they decide they have to one up us with their own, crazier, menace:

This is a picture of an actual chainsaw wielded by an actual deranged man on the Venice Boardwalk as he threatened passing bike-riders, walkers, roller-skaters, fortune-tellers, t-shirt salesmen, rap artists, street performers, junkies and whoever else happened to be in the vicinity.  This, classic, passage from today's L.A. Times captures the incident best, I think:

"Spencer Davis was chatting up tourists on the Venice boardwalk when police officers pulled up in front of his display of plastic alien heads.  Had Davis seen a man threatening people with a chain saw, they asked?  "Not today," he quipped with a smile, assuming that the officers were joking. Then he turned around and saw police officers, their guns drawn, with a man holding a chain saw. "Just when you think you've seen it all…" Davis said."

Really, L.A.?  Why do you have to always go and do everything bigger than us?  You're so insecure.  We have a perfectly good trumped-up ominous trend going and you just go and blow it out of the water.  How are we supposed to compete with a chainsaw?  Knives plunged into the abdomens of unsuspecting bike riders just seems so mundane in comparison.  Anyway, here's how local L.A. TV news handled the story:

Why even bother employing actual camera operators when you can rely upon old hippies in crazy hats to capture your footage for the 11 O'clock report?

L.A. Police have, reportedly, increased bike patrols after the incident (Hurray!  Bikes to the rescue!), and the Torrey Pines Park Rangers, in their infinite wisdom, have posted a sign banning chain saws from the preserve -- just in case.

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