Thursday, May 15, 2014

Christmas Canceled!

So here I was, on Bike-to-Work Eve, all tucked in and ready to upload my big Bike-to-Work post, when I suddenly decided to pick up a paper and was confronted with this:

D'oh!  Wait, wrong image -- this is actually what ruined my night:

Can you believe it?  What's a little Biblical weather shift and unprecedented numbers of wildfires when something as big as Bike-to-Work Day is hanging in the balance?  Why wasn't I consulted?  Does this mean I can't bike to work tomorrow?

Guess I'm just going to have to wait for my free Cliff Bars and t-shirts.  Life is so unfair!  Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that this guy has something to do with this?

I'll just make due celebrating one of the other dozens of random things we commemorate during May.  What is it about May?  We seem to cram every conceivable special day and cause possible into this month.  It all starts with "May Day" of course, then just spirals more and more out of control from there:

Besides it already being National Bike Month, May is also the Month of Mary in the Catholic Church, National Physical Fitness and Sports Month, "Get Caught Reading!" Month (Guilty!), National Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, Better Hearing Month, Better Sleep Month, Better Posture Month, Foot Health Month, Huntington's Disease Awareness Month, National Allergy Awareness Month, Mental Health Month (these damned allergies are driving me crazy!), National Arthritis Month, National High Blood Pressure Month, National Skin Cancer Detection Month, Photo Month (selfies of my melanomas anyone?), Neurofibromatosis Awareness Month (I was truly unaware), and Trauma Awareness Month (possibly brought on by having to keep track of all the things we are commemorating this month)

As for special days:

May 1:  is also Law Day, Senior Citizen's Day, Mother Goose Day and Hawaiian Lei Day

May 2:  Holocaust Remembrance Day

May 3:  Space Day

May 4:  Star Wars Day (couldn't we have saved some trouble by just combining with Space Day?)

May 5:  Cinco de Mayo!  

May 5 - 11:  National Pet Week, National Postcard Week, and Teacher Appreciation Week

May 6:  National No Homework Day (thought my kids were making this one up)

May 7:  National Teacher's Day (guess a whole week wasn't enough -- although they do have to share it with hamsters, snakes and kitties)

May 8:  National School Nurses Day (jealous of those teachers who always seem to get the spotlight are we?  Seems like another good candidate for combining) -- Also "No Socks" Day -- not sure the nurses approve of this one, doesn't sound very hygienic

May 9:  Peter Pan Day -- Think only happy thoughts -- or else!

May 12:  Mother's Day (the one we're ALL familiar with and better not forget!)

May 12 - 18:  National Police Week; National Transportation Week (celebrate by getting pulled over by a police officer -- better yet, do it with your motherin the  passenger seat!); and Children's Book Week (wouldn't this be a better week to "Get Caught Reading" as well as speeding?)

May 14:  Commemoration of the Start of the Lewis and Clark Expedition (just imagine if they had bikes!)

May 15:  National Chocolate Chip Day (so glad all those poor, unappreciated, chips have a day all to themselves)

May 16:  National Bike-to-Work Day (everywhere except San Diego).  

The 16th is also "Wear Purple for Peace Day" (well, at least I'll have somethimg else fun to do tomorrow - woo-hoo!)

May 18:  Armed Forces Day (awfully close to Memorial Day isn't it?)

May 20:  Weights and Measures Day (weigh your bike!)

May 23:  Lucky Penny Day (otherwise known as "Reinforcement of Irrational Superstitions Day" -- remember only if they're heads up people!  Don't dare touch an upside down one!)

May 24:  Morse Code Day (my brothers and I used to actually send messages to each other on our walkie-talkies using Morse Code - probably even did it on May 24 at least once, but wouldn't have known the significance because we didn't have such stupid days when we were kids)

May 27:  Memorial Day (now, this makes sense.  Carve out some time from the beach and the barbecue to walk your little bikeists through Cabrillo National Cemetery -- well worth it!)

May 29:  Paper Clip Day (just when you thought May couldn't get more exciting -- brought to you by the Norwegians of course -my heritage- the same folks who have made a show about how to stack wood the highest rated in their country)

May 31:  No Tobacco Day (easy for me, never touch that nasty stuff).

May also contains the birthdays of my littlest bikeist, younger brother and youngest niece.  What a month!  Almost as unrelenting as Taylor Phinney was in breaking away to win the Fifth Stage of the Tour of California Today in 100 degree heat -- all 6'5" of him!

I am not making any of this up -and- sadly haven't listed some of the days and special things we need to be aware of this month out of sheer exhaustion -- feel free to look the others up yourselves and add to my list.

Finally please send your prayers and "happy thoughts" out to all those impacted by the hellacious fires we are suffering through here -- stay safe out there people -- get your butts out of harm's way and worry about your stuff later!

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